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Weapons of mass seduction

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 I have come to the conclusion that the world has become so dangerous
since George W. Bush was appointed to the presidency, that it is time for me
to offer my services in defense of our beloved nation. The Oct. 11 Tribune
article announcing Bush's plan to tighten the embargo of Cuba was the last
straw for me. I can sit still no longer and let the children of the United
States carry the brunt of the fight.

    According to the article, "He alluded to a crackdown on an illicit sex
trade surrounding Cuba's tourism industry but offered no evidence of such a
problem." I have long suspected that Castro has been deceiving the world,
and in fact has been developing "weapons of mass seduction."

    I served in the military honorably and am now too old to re-enlist, but
I will sacrifice myself by going on an inspections mission to bring back
proof that there are in fact WMS presently being produced under a web of
secrecy in Cuba. I shall also sign my name to this affidavit so Karl Rove
won't have to leak my identity and blow my cover.

    Wish me luck, and God bless America.

   James D. Smith
   Pleasant Grove

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